What are good table manners for fancy and casual restaurants?

I have obviously been to both casual and fancy restaurants. I want to know what are the proper ways to use and set aside your fork and knife. Napkin? How to sit, how to order?



Basic things please. I obviously know how - I just want to sharpen my skills.



Do I scoop the food onto my fork with a knife or help it with my finger? I tend to use my finger out of habit.What are good table manners for fancy and casual restaurants?
Good manners can sometimes be more than common sense, but there it isn't that hard.



How to sit? Come on...that's a silly question.



How to order? Is dictated by the server. The server may query women first, but often the go in a clockwise fashion starting on their left so that she can write the orders down in order so that each item is easy for them to figure out who gets what. Just follow the server's lead. And be prepared with what you want. You can ask questions of the server when it is your turn (how is the chicken seasoned? Does the vegetables have butter on them? etc) - but being unprepared and still making up your mind while others have ordered is rude.



Setting aside used silverware: Knife gets rested across the top of the plate, fork is usually always held, it may be placed on a napkin or with the tines resting on the dish. Soup spoon is always held or may be placed on top of a napkin. Because of the danger of launching hot soup across the table, the soup spoon is never left by itself in the soup plate.



Scooping food with fingers. Fingers never touch food unless 1) it is finger food like crudites or fried chicken or 2) you are removing a choking hazard, and even then you use your hand to bring napkin to mouth, eject food into napkin and crumple napkin up as you put it in your lap until you leave.What are good table manners for fancy and casual restaurants?
First, you do not scoop food onto your fork using your finger. Use the knife.



Napkin on your lap.

Sit up straight

Order when it is your turn. Order from appetizer to your entree. Listen to the waitstaff as they may give you options, choices of vegetables, choices of salad dressing, choices of soup. Answer each in turn. Ask questions if you have any.



Now if you were to ask my Mom or my Grandma they would have told you that you should put your fork down between bites.

They would also tell you that the hand you are not using for your fork should be in your lap when you are not cutting something.

Put you knife down between cutting your food. (Heaven forbid you cut it all up at once!)

If the table gets a little container of butter remove some and place it on your bread plate.

Do not put soiled silverware on the table place it on the side of your plate.

Don't make noises when chewing, do not chew with your mouth open, do not talk with food in your mouth.